Fire In My Vein
The needle, the flash of blood
Inject –
Feelings of ecstasy, power
Inhibition completely dissolves.
I am at the mercy of a synthetic compound
Over stimulated pleasure centers
Flooded with dopamine.
I am hyper alert, energetic, fearless
Addicted to the “feeling”
But numb to the devastation
Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The need for the “feeling” fuels my addiction
Yet the fire in my vein
Reeks havoc on my body –
Gray skin, sunken cheeks, darting eyes
Weight loss of thirty pounds –
Little more than a shell – “existing”
Empty – searching – lonely Isolation, shame.
The fire in my vein – creating the illusion
Of power and confidence – yet
All the while creating a dependence
On a “feeling” – artificially induced
By the fire in my vein.
The shadows ever so subtly obscuring the Light
Creeping closer to the edge – the precipice – I teeter
Life and death – the fire in my vein demands more!
I gaze into the mirror and see only remnants
Of what I used to be – a shell
A tear lands on my cheek – HOPE!
The fire in my vein demands more –
Another tear falls – LIGHT!
I drop the syringe –
I see like I have never seen before
Beyond “physical” – my spiritual essence –
LIGHT – flickering – waiting only to be fanned,
Igniting purpose and passion, creating LIFE,
Immersed in LOVE.
I have never again picked up a syringe
I have no need of the fire in my vein
For a fire has ignited in my soul
Fueled by the desire to live purposefully…
And love passionately!

David –Grand Rapids, Michigan is a former addict and IV drug user.

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